Nunya Cards

cougar

Jerilyn — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 03:06:30 +0000

I know what you’re thinking. This is a card for the over-40 ladies out on the prowl for young, studly men. And true, it could be. However. This is for my friend Randi (and everyone else) who is a fan or alumnus or both of Brigham Young University. Even I attended BYU for one glorious year before the lure of marriage and parenthood swept me away.

TALK ABOUT A BAIT AND SWITCH.

P.S. I do not have the BYU logo on this card because I don’t want to get sued for copyright infringement and I’m not sure what I can get away with. We can talk it over during the proofing process.

genius

Jerilyn — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 23:23:37 +0000

Don’t just BE a know-it-all. Prove it! With this card.

rainbow

Jerilyn — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 07:52:48 +0000

When I was in the 5th grade, all the cool girls had shirts that had a rainbow on them that stretched from one arm to the other. I think they were by Asmile, but I could be wrong. A Google search proves I am, but doesn’t offer the correct name. LAME, GOOGLE.

Anyway. I wanted one of those, but I was the oldest of 8 kids with a dad who was (and still is) a teacher, so instead I wore hand-me-downs. It’s okay, it built character and probably is to blame for the hair on my chest.

butterfly

Jerilyn — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 07:44:17 +0000

I am not an expert on butterflies, but I think this might be a moth. However, “Moth Nunya Card” lacks a certain juno say kwa. (Yes, I know that’s not even close to being spelled correctly. I’m American, not German. Or Italian. Whatever.)

P.S. While I was writing this, a moth flew into my face and in an effort to rid my personal space of said moth, I punched myself about the head and screamed very girly screams that woke up 3 of the 4 people sleeping in my house. I get what I deserve.

babysitter

Jerilyn — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 07:41:45 +0000

Maybe you’re really into babysitting. When I was a teenage girl, I hated babysitting, but it was the only way for a girl like me to make a few bucks. For a couple of years, I babysat at a house where they only source of heat was the wood stove. Once in the very middle of a very cold winter night, I went out to the backyard in my bare feet to get more wood to put in the stove and the kids locked me out of the house and laughed at me from behind the sliding glass door.

Perhaps if I’d had a marketing plan that wasn’t “Oh hey, I’m the oldest of 8 kids and I’m sturdy” I could have found better jobs. Who knows?

pinky

Jerilyn — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 07:40:00 +0000

Ok, sometimes you don’t need a title. I’m okay with that. Instead, you just want a lovely card that says “Look at me! I matter! I won’t allow myself to be labeled!”

So, here you go. There’s even room on the back for a favorite quote or scriptural verse.

beachy

Jerilyn — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 07:38:14 +0000

Once I was in Las Vegas and the person who was driving me to my hotel said “Don’t palm trees make you happy?”

Yes, palm trees do make me happy. I think of that moment every time I see a palm tree. Happy, happy palm trees.

wood

Jerilyn — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 07:35:43 +0000

Ok, sometimes you don’t need a title. I’m okay with that. Instead, you just want a lovely card that says “Look at me! I matter! I won’t allow myself to be labeled, but I will let you know I like wood!”

So, here you go. There’s room on the back for a favorite quote or scriptural verse.

Or you could order 5000 of these and use them as a new kitchen floor.

come to the dark side

Jerilyn — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 07:32:54 +0000

Did you know there’s a light and a dark side to Uranus?

Sorry.

There’s room on the back for a favorite quote or scriptural verse.

coffee drinker

Jerilyn — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 07:30:17 +0000

I am not a coffee drinker. I prefer my caffeine on ice with carbonation and poured out of a giant plastic jug that says “Diet Pepsi.” BUT THAT’S JUST ME.

To each their own.